You can tell that I’ve recently re-read/re-watched The Lord of the Rings trilogy because all travel estimates come in “…as the nazgul flies” form.
I haven’t told anyone this, but The Situation on “Jersey Shore” totally ripped me off. The key was shortening the name from the one I was using: The Incredibly Awkward Situation We’d Kind of Like to Leave Immediately But Aunt Sarah is Hitting On Some Random Dude and She Drove Here.
So Tom got married a few weeks ago. I was supposed to go but things didn’t work out for me to attend, unfortunately. But I did spend some time brainstorming ways to by annoying by combining two of my favorite things to do: 1) Make fun of my friends and 2) Make jokes about Catholicism and the Lutheran Reformation. Since enough time has passed I thought I’d share some of my ideas here:
- Get to the church early and slip a copy of the Augsburg Confession into the bulletins/programs.
- Cough repeatedly during the ceremony and say “Grace alone,” “Faith alone,” “Christ alone” and “Scripture alone.”
- Find a nun, get in a fight. Find a nun, get in a fight. Repeat until I’m extradited back to Illinois.
- Respond to all questions by reciting the Treatise on the Power and Primacy of the Pope.
- Keep my opinions on church rituals and concepts of justification to myself and act respectfully and quietly. (This one was rejected pretty quickly.)
- Wear a button on my lapel that says “Melancthon FTW!”
- Become belligerent when introduced to the priest, ending with a clenched fist and my exclaiming “I’ve got 95 reasons while I’m going to kick your celibate hinder Luther Style.”
Cause these are the sorts of things I devote brainpower to.
A brief excerpt from a longer piece:
After 2010’s takeover of the NSA by Google it became possible for corporations and their communication agencies to instantly gauge public opinion on any given topic and see the results in real time. All media now came enabled with RSS feeds, including cell phones and other traditionally offline devices.
Benchmarks like Technorati ranking and even Google’s own PageRank fell by the way side as the new standard of success became the amount of times an item – whatever it was – was shared by someone through Google Reader.
Special weight, though, was given if they shared it with a note attached. Indeed entire conversations took place through these notes, something that coincided with a drastic drop in the rise of stand-alone blogs and individual blog posts.
The Spout crew was out and about in downtown Grand Rapids, MI last night to capture video of an attempt to put on a World Record-setting Zombie Walk. Read all about it and check out the video here.
Nikon (a client of my former employer MWW Group) has a program they’re running called Look Good in Pictures. The campaign involves a microsite, a Twitter account and, apparently, having people in whose wedding I’m standing up appear on CBS’ The Early Show. Lara, the unfortunate victim in said wedding, is the first person sitting in the chairs who gets some advice. And if you look closely (actually he’s doing everything but jumping up in the air and waving his hands) you’ll see The Biro in The Background during the opening of the segment. [via]