While driving while drunk is a terrible thing to do, that doesn’t detract from this being the BEST. STORY. EVER!

JUPITER, Fla. -– Cardinals manager Tony La Russa was jailed by the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Department early this morning on a charge of suspicion of driving under the influence, according to a police report obtained by the Post-Dispatch.

LaRussa explained he wasn’t actually drunk, he was just in his normal pre-game trance whereby his heartrate slows, he can barely walk and can’t seem to keep his eyes open.

I may have written some of that myself.