HOUSE OF WAX
Worst. Five minutes. Ever.
So I listened to Paris Hilton’s podcast which is (at least it’s supposed to be) part of the marketing push for her upcoming flick House of Wax. There’s only one problem: IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FRIGGIN’ MOVIE!
Here’s a quick run-down of the contents of Paris’ foray into podcasting:
- Goofy, science filmstrip-esque music a’la The Osbornes, complete with yapping dog.
- Paris’ opinions on David Letterman and the Ed Sullivan Theater. (He’s great and is super nice. It’s dingy. Now we know.)
- Paris complains about the hell that is a publicity tour. This is obviously because the rest of her life is overly stressful.
- She then leaves the microphone after 1:40 and we get a repeat of the kitchy music. Is that as long as she can sit still for?
- Audio of Paris cooing over her dog who is “so spoiled” and then she goes outside to meet her fans. Actually this is just her fans and paparazzi screaming “Paris! PARIS!!!!!” over and over again. This goes on for over a minute.
- More music.
A five-minute and two-secons podcast ladies and gentlemen, during which the movie this is ostensibly helping to promote gets mentioned once. Ultimately this is just part of the masturbatory relationship the media has with this woman-child. She loves to hear her own voice and see her face on TV/movie screens and the media is more than happy to allow her to exploit their resources since they lack for anything substantive to cover.